Back in Sweden I feel so much more grounded. I remember who I really am and how I want to live my life. It is important to go home once in a while to know how much of the life that you are living that is ‘plastic’. In Sweden my life is far from city-hectic or party glamorous, by choice. I have a small social circle of friends and do more of less quiet and relaxed activities. In Seoul I am uncomfortably special just because I am a westerner. Being special is fun at times, but it is very easy to lose yourself in this superficial spotlight if you pay too much attention to it or if you start confusing compliments with facts.
Of course I might as well have a grounded and real life in Korea – I mean there is naturally nothing wrong with the authenticity of the country in itself. It is probably one of the most authentic places among the industrialized countries that I know, once you get outside of Seoul. The problem is that there are just SO many temptations for me as a foreigner, for shallow pleasures, in this crazy-different lifestyle. They get in my way for living the same kind of life I do at home.
However, I don’t see this as a problem. Not really. I am by nature a very rapidly changing character and thus can adjust to new situations without compromising too much with my personal preferences. One day I have one dream about how an ideal life should be, and the next day my dream is completely the opposite. It might sound like I am completely spine-less, but I think I usually change my preferences according to circumstances rather than having a set of beliefs that I move my life around.
Anyhow, I see it as a positive thing to put myself in different situations. I don’t really know if I am just trying to justify a flattering and egocentric lifestyle for a part of my life here, but I honestly think that any situation that puts you outside the box, outside your comfort-zone, will be a beneficial experience at some point in your life.
I agree! Putting oneself in different situations, like going abroad, is a beneficial life-experience. Overall, I like your point of view about all this, but sadly many people don’t ever want to leave their comfort-zones. They rather stay home, maybe even build a flat over their parent’s house, and always be surrounded by the same people every single day, not curious what else they could experience..
There’s nothing wrong about that though – people are different, but in my opinion they are just missing a whole lot of stuff “of things to do before you die”…
And about that flattering and egocentric lifestyle… – Enjoy it ^^
You’re beautiful, young, smart, so enjoy it! Later (as a granny), it might just get weird to continue that kind of lifestyle, but eventually you’ll have a satisfying feeling, you lived your life without any regrets.. (I’m beginning to sound like my dad now)
I’m happy to see you blogging, even though you’re back in Sweden again. Really. I’m actually very relieved, that you didn’t just stop, just because you’re not in Korea anymore.
Anyhow, you’re not thinking about staying “in your comfort-zone” are you? You’re still planning to go back, right? I hope so..
Paula – Just read your blog to everyone here and we all are impressed by your insight and the way you have put your feelings into words. We don’t really have a clear understanding of your Seoul life, but are so glad to read that you have a solid realisation of the way you want to live your life. Love..
thank you for your long great reply to the post^^
yes, many people never leave their comfort zone – and even if they travel they go in organized groups, doing stuff with people who are similar to themselves… anyhow, like you said, it’s NOTHING wrong with that – all people are different, but that is just not my cup of tea^^
I am coming back to Korea in august i think. Its just about work, visa and that kind of stuff^^
take care
Gareth ~ thank you! I really want to come and visit you soon, but I have to work this summer! I miss you all. Please give hugs to all in the house from me!
xoxo