Yesterday I had the unavoidable first real crises with my boyfriend wich almost lead to us breaking up. He was upset about me prioritizing my friends above him since I have been back, which is partly true. Another thing that came up in the discussion was a significant cultural issue. The fact that I have many male friends is very hard for a Korean boyfriend to understand, as it is deeply rooted in their traditional culture to only have close friends of the same sex. In my own feminist influenced Swedish culture, on the other hand, jealousy because of a ‘minor detail’ like sexes is not considered fully acceptable. I have however taken his very accepting mind for granted when he has not ever made this opinion of his an issue before. We both told each other our honest minds and what was bugging us, which first resulted in the heated discussion and then lead to the realization that nothing really matters except that we love each other.

But to sum it all up, our fight – or rather discussion, ended in the best way it could have. Neither of us had to back down from our own point of view, and we both came out of this battle with even more sincere feelings and more trust. I have been pretty restless about the fact that he is going to the army, just like those of you who has read my recent posts probably know. I have now decided to just forget about that and devote myself more to this relationship. I realized that I have been afraid of falling too deep in love with him, as I have had the thought of us sooner or later breaking up in the back of my head this entire time. Now I know I would rather promise to wait for him for two years, than to end it with him.

After this emotional rollercoaster we were both just crazier in love than ever before. So we went all in, and got dressed up, had a bottle of soju and then we went to Club answer – the romantic (not) location we first met in. We got really drunk and had fun, clinging to each other’s hands, kissing and dancing. I don’t remember anything other than that he was by my side all night, and it was not because of the alcohol.

If it doesn’t kill it, it only makes it stronger.

After that we went to have a drink at KOOBAR where we met DJ KOO and had a great evening with fantastic food!

Tonight will be fun too as we are going to a Puma party and later to club Answer. I am not sure of what this first event will be like, but I am sure it’s going to be fun!

[Jade's picture]

“Typhoon Kompasu struck central South Korea early Thursday morning, bringing downpours and gusts that paralyzed metro operations in Seoul and adjacent areas. With almost all above-ground sections of Seoul’s subway lines out of service, street trees toppled and winds blowing at a speed of over 20 meters per second, commuters and students were forced to undergo the worst transportation chaos in decades. The typhoon caused power outages along the west coast and forced airlines to cancel or divert domestic and international flights. Kompasu is the strongest tropical storm to hit Seoul in 15 years.”

I remember waking up this morning thinking “wow it’s really windy outside” and then just falling right back to sleep. I had no idea that there was a Typhoon coming. Everything seems to be back to normal now anyways, so don’t worry mom

I think that both good and bad experiences happens because it will lead us to some kind of further insight of the world and the people in it, and that way we can live our lives more fully. Perhaps sometimes this enlightenment might enable us to even influence the world we live in positively.

Yesterday, I met up with Cory at a café near Gangnam station. They have organic coffee, friendly staff and a very peaceful environment. I think I will start to go there more often. However, after chatting about random life-in-Korea related things, she suddenly said just what Jina said the evening before: “I don’t know what you think about stuff like this but…” and started to talk about that everything happens for a reason. That was quite funny.

This was on the subject of me being confused about the future with my boyfriend and worrying about him going off to the army. It would be easier and less heartbreaking for me if we ended it now, but easier for him to go off to the army if he knew he still had me to go back to when he occasionally gets let out. What to do? Either way it feels so comforting that regardless of my pessimistic doubts, all friends have nothing but optimistic words to say – everything happens for a reason. They say “maybe the fact that the two are you are so different and bad choices for each other right now, are all the reasons that will make you two just perfect for each other in the long run.” I have amazing friends. If my boyfriend and my friends believe strongly in this relationship, why am I so worried? I am after all the one person who actually knows how good he is for me…

After drinking our coffee and smoothies, my oppa-friend JH texts me. He recently started working at a bar called Cork near Rodeo Street and wanted us to come over. When we arrived we were the only guests. JH oppa asked what music we wanted and we wrote some songs on a piece of paper. He was probably hoping to get more mature music choices than SHINee’s “Lucifer”, as he looked a bit surprised when he saw the list.  We had a couple of drinks and laughs and then headed home. It was a very pleasant Wednesday night with good friends and good talks.

I took the subway from Gangnam all the way up to Chongyangni where I was going to meet Y. When I saw his slim tall figure from a distance, where he was waiting for me in the shadow of the Lotte department store, my heart skipped a beat. I was almost running as I walked towards him. He turned his head and smiled when he saw me. I was a little bit nervous, but it quickly passed when I gave him a long hug. We took each other’s hands and went off happily chatting.

We only had the afternoon, as he is working every night 9pm to 4am in a restaurant, so we went to see a Korean movie, in which a few friends of were extras. After that we went to our favorite restaurant Dok, in the neighborhood of my old university (University of Seoul). All the staff remembered us, just like we of course, remembered them. It really felt like “I’m home now”.

After deciding to meet on Friday for dinner and then go to my friends’ party at club ANSWER, I followed him to the bus station, gave him a kiss and watched him leave to go to work. I went back to Gangnam.

Just as I had washed my makeup off, preparing for bed, one of my best friends J called. I really wanted to meet her and even though I was really tiered and needed to sleep, I was so excited and invited her over. She came and we chatted for a while about all kinds of things. It is really amazing how our lives seem to be connected. I have known her for about six months or so by now, and we always seem to be in the same stage in life or experiencing the same things. Right now one of these things is that her boyfriend, who is also younger than her, just has gone off to the army. It is the same situation I will be in; if I stay together with my boyfriend until next spring, which I of course have all intentions on doing at the moment. After a few pleasant hours, my head was craving some rest, so we said good night and she left.

Today, I have not done much else than going downtown for shopping necessities and coffee. I have plans to meet M for dinner, and the rest of the evening is still a surprise!

The first night I didn’t really want to bother my friends as I arrived really late, so I thought why not just check in to a cheap hotel or a motel for that first night and get some good sleep. I didn’t take many steps looking around the Gangnam main street before I bumped into a pair of friendly police officers who asked me if I needed any help. I must have looked a bit disoriented and lost as I was walking around with my luggage, tiered and worn out, in the middle of the night. I asked them if they knew of any cheap hotels in the area. They said that there was a hotel just straight ahead and that if I wanted them to they could go with me and ask about the prices and make sure that I arrived somewhere safe as this neighborhood, just like any other in a big city, can be a bit scary at night. I accepted their proposal happily. So the police officers insisted on carrying my bags and came with me to the hotel. It turned out to be a bit pricy for my budget, so the officers said that they would gladly drive me to another one nearby. So all of my things got packed into the police car and off we went.

At the second hotel, another police car suddenly showed up with two male and a female police officer, who were just as eager to help me out. By the third hotel I said that as I had not slept in 48 hours, I was happy with just anywhere cheap were I could sleep. Together we decided that a motel would be best, so they took me to a place a few blocks away that seemed good. It was perfect. The two officers came with me and specifically told the staff to take good care of me and then gave me their contact information. “If I would ever feel unsafe in the area while in Korea,” they said, “just give us a call and we will come.”

The motel was clean, tidy and modern. My first night in Seoul could not have turned out any better. Seoul police rocks! ^^

I am wearing too warm clothes obviously, even for the airport, as I am dizzy from the heat. It might also be tiered related dizziness, of course. To my defense I must say that it was freezing when I left Stockholm this afternoon.

Anyway I just ordered in a mushroom omelette from the very pleasing Chinese staff here at the Lucky Shamrock Café. I will sit here for as long as I can take, but I suspect I will need to crash somewhere for a couple of hours to survive even though randomly crashing don’t exactly go with my very sophisticated look of the day. But what do I care.

I was happy when I heard there is free Wi-Fi all over the airport, but got a bit less excited when I realized that Facebook and YouTube are off-limits in China. At least my most important accessory still is working; my ever so reliable blog.

I have a boyfriend who I love and who loves me. Is love really all you need, or are there other factors that should be considered? Yes, I think so. But what those things are, I am really not so sure about anymore.

All I ever wanted in a man, I found very unexpectedly in a boy I met in club Answer, four months one day and two hours ago. He is a person who has seen me at my worst many times already, and honestly tells be that he hates it; but that my good sides still outweighs my bad, which is why he loves me. He is a person who really no longer cares what I look like, and with whom I in all situations feel perfectly comfortable with. He is a guy who worries for me and wants to protect me, even though he trusts my ability to take care of myself. He tells me what he likes and what he doesn’t, and equally wants me to do the same. He loves knowing more about me and what I want, and is trying every day to be the best boyfriend possible. I never take that for granted.

Because of language, the first month or two were a little difficult. Nowadays we have our own language where we mix body language, Korean, English and Swedish and we understand each other perfectly. He has the best sense of humor which makes me laugh out of control every day, and great values of life. He doesn’t care for money or social status, and without being negligent about the future he truly lives for the day. He makes me happy, so why am I worried? Because I know that he will go to the army for two years in May 2011 and I am not so good at focusing on the here and now when I know that the future is coming so soon.

Anyway, this black dress is one of those that I mentioned, that I almost forgot that I had. It is from Carl Lagerfeld’s  collection for H&M back in 2005. I think it was 2005 because I remember wearing it while hosting our high school’s christmas event. It might be too warm to wear now in Seoul, as it’s made of so much fabric and layers, but later on this fall I will regret if I don’t bring it now.

After gaining a whole extra 24 hours due to my time-screw-up, and being invited to go to the theater yesterday evening, I was so happy that the dress that happened to lie on top in my already packed suit case was this little gothic cup cake. It was nice to unexpectedly spend my final night in Stockholm with my mom and sister, make myself pretty and see a good play.

The play August: Osage County (swedish title En Familj) by Tracy Letts.